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Title: Now (Jan 2026)
Last year was a huge year for me. I---
-Started self hosting websites; including two instances of the software behind Archive of our Own, the largest fanfiction site in the world (which, somehow, was the first thing I ever self-hosted);
-Finally found a group of people who truly love and care for me;
-Adopted a wonderful wonderful bird;
-Did a lot of self-reflection and a lot of healing;
-Had my MOST PRODUCTIVE WRITING YEAR YET!! Some years I was only able to write 11k the whole year... but last year I wrote I think 127.8 thousand words. One Hundred Twenty Seven Thousand!!!
-Improved my art and coding skills significantly;
-And stopped being suicidal, which I had been 24/7 constantly and deeply for twenty one years.
It was the best year of my life, and I really want 2026 to be even better.
I started therapy with a new therapist recently, after two years of seeing a therapist who apparently did not like me and intentionally cut our sessions short to get them over with, who did not help me at all, didn't even try. My new therapist seems very nice and very dedicated to helping me heal. I'm deeply grateful for this. We're getting into some real serious stuff, but I think I trust her.
My big goal in 2026 is to finish a novel. A novella, even! I've never written anything longer than 28k words... and even that was a Gravity Falls fanfic I wrote when I was 14. I love writing, but I always start projects and never finish them... That stops NOW. I have a few stories floating around in my head and a few I've started writing already. I really want to make a name for myself in the writing world, and that's what I want to focus on in 2026.
I also want to try some new things. I want to make interactive fiction, and more games, and figure out how to do electronic music in a way that sounds good. I want to sculpt cute little animals and bake cakes (I already baked one yesterday! First and only day of energy in months. I paid for it, but my family loved it and it was delicious.) I want to learn to crochet. I want to CREATE.
I was going to start college this year, but I decided against it. I've tried to do college before 3 times (including a full ride scholarship to a super prestigous private college!) and failed each time, so this is "my last chance", so to speak. I need to be in a good frame of mind to handle it. And while I have improved signficantly over the past year, I am not /quite/ there yet.
I think this year is going to be even better than the last. I finally feel like I can have a future. I finally see a path forward for myself.
-Started self hosting websites; including two instances of the software behind Archive of our Own, the largest fanfiction site in the world (which, somehow, was the first thing I ever self-hosted);
-Finally found a group of people who truly love and care for me;
-Adopted a wonderful wonderful bird;
-Did a lot of self-reflection and a lot of healing;
-Had my MOST PRODUCTIVE WRITING YEAR YET!! Some years I was only able to write 11k the whole year... but last year I wrote I think 127.8 thousand words. One Hundred Twenty Seven Thousand!!!
-Improved my art and coding skills significantly;
-And stopped being suicidal, which I had been 24/7 constantly and deeply for twenty one years.
It was the best year of my life, and I really want 2026 to be even better.
I started therapy with a new therapist recently, after two years of seeing a therapist who apparently did not like me and intentionally cut our sessions short to get them over with, who did not help me at all, didn't even try. My new therapist seems very nice and very dedicated to helping me heal. I'm deeply grateful for this. We're getting into some real serious stuff, but I think I trust her.
My big goal in 2026 is to finish a novel. A novella, even! I've never written anything longer than 28k words... and even that was a Gravity Falls fanfic I wrote when I was 14. I love writing, but I always start projects and never finish them... That stops NOW. I have a few stories floating around in my head and a few I've started writing already. I really want to make a name for myself in the writing world, and that's what I want to focus on in 2026.
I also want to try some new things. I want to make interactive fiction, and more games, and figure out how to do electronic music in a way that sounds good. I want to sculpt cute little animals and bake cakes (I already baked one yesterday! First and only day of energy in months. I paid for it, but my family loved it and it was delicious.) I want to learn to crochet. I want to CREATE.
I was going to start college this year, but I decided against it. I've tried to do college before 3 times (including a full ride scholarship to a super prestigous private college!) and failed each time, so this is "my last chance", so to speak. I need to be in a good frame of mind to handle it. And while I have improved signficantly over the past year, I am not /quite/ there yet.
I think this year is going to be even better than the last. I finally feel like I can have a future. I finally see a path forward for myself.